January 25th at 4:00pm.

I’m preparing for what people have told me is the end of my life but what is actually just the end of my undergraduate career (which may in fact be the end of my life). So whatever. They are probably right.

Here are a few of the problems:

I’m starting now (January 19th at 6:40pm) and I have exactly 6 days to know (essentially memorize?) 25 books (half/most of which I haven’t read).

That’s the biggest one. Then there might be the fact that I have to take care of a 14 year old child with severe anger issues with a budget of $3.00. I’m actually serious. There is $3.00 in my bank account right now. But if I can learn anything from recent reality television shows, if I had about fifteen more coupons, I could maybe buy a plasma screen television with that $3.00. People have done this. It’s called Extreme Couponing and it’s on TLC.

There’s my second problem. Reality televison/really good television shows that are not reality but seem like reality (Parks and Rec/30 Rock/The New Girl/etc.) I don’t really like The New Girl all that much but I watch it anyway because I live in Brooklyn and people are talking about it like it’s something I Need To See. Whatever, all of this distracts me.

The important or non-important thing about all this is that I still have 25 books that I know something about but not everything about, and knowing everything isn’t exactly the point of the Colloquium, but given my panel, it kind of is.

So over the next six days you can watch me put my thoughts together before The Big Day (or the end of my life/end of my undergraduate career) that is not my wedding, my first real job, or my first day on reality television.

Conor just called Kristin a “fucking asshole”. Kristin said back, “Sit up straight”. Conor replied, “I’m sitting up fucking straight. If I wasn’t I would be gay. Holy shit.”

I don’t know what any of that means but I’m overhearing it now so it seemed relevant. I’ll update you on Diana Taylor at some point this evening, when I’ve read past page four.